you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize