so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
