Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
