so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
