apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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