dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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