I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
