put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
