I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
