glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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