I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
