Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
