ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
