eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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