so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
