He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
