we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
