I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
