D3 body, D1 cock
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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