idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize