I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize