My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
