Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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