We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize