Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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