Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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