we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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