You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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