Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
