I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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