No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
