well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
kristin has been a bad kristin
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
