Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
