just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
