new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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