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• (256): View more from Alabama

  You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.

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• (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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• (530): View more from California

  So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.

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• (516): View more from New York

  WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.

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