Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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