woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
