At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
