Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
