I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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