What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
