I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've blown a few things in my day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize