He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
