It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Drunk is not a location!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
