I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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