I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have demons in me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
