I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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