I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
