I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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