just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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