I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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