When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
