that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize