ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
