She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Come see our sink grown plant.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
