did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
