Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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