I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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