i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Bring me that man meat
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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