wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
