no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
