whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
look no pants
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I touched a dick in church today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
