Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
