Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
