its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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