There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
