how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
