I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
